Finding Freedom
The holiday of Passover celebrates the Jews’ exodus from Egypt. It commemorates the time when Jews went from being enslaved to being free.
Great thinkers have said that this freedom was not won once and for all. But that inside us and in our environments there can be ongoing forces that seek to undermine our freedoms and our self-confidence.
As a way to add meaning to the holiday, some families like to discuss the ways we still feel enslaved in our lives.
This year that question is even more poignant.
Our freedoms are curtailed as we shelter in place. We’ve experienced loss because we can’t be together with friends and family, and participate in our regular activities. Special events and milestones, like concerts and graduations, have been cancelled or will take place in unusual ways. Financial pressures and uncertainty about how long we will need to stay at home cause understandable stress.
How can we find more freedom and calm during such uncertain, stressful times?
1) Accept How You Feel
Acceptance doesn’t mean we submit or give in, only that we acknowledge how we feel and that our feelings are valid and true. Accepting our feelings is an act of self-compassion that allows us us to stop fighting ourselves and be free to feel however we feel. Please discuss any signs of depression with your doctor or counselor. Short of that, all feelings - anger, frustration, anxiety, despair, sadness, loss, boredom, fear and others - are valid and completely understandable. I invite you to give yourself the gift of accepting yourself just as you are right now.
2) Accept The Feelings of Those Around You
You don’t have to agree with how your friends and family feel. Simply accepting their feelings, listening without judgement, and showing you care provides important, compassionate support. You don’t have to solve their problem and it may not be in your power to do so. But you’ll help others feel calmer if they feel you understand and are willing to listen. We all respond to this crisis in different ways. Give others the benefit of the doubt and assume they are doing their best.
3) Engage in Activities That Calm You
Two of the most powerful ways to feel calmer are to listen to music you enjoy and be outside in nature. There are many other choices as well. Do you find it helpful to journal about your thoughts and feelings, talk to someone, work out, walk or run, meditate, do yoga, do a puzzle, read, create something artistic, play music or sing, watch streaming music and art performances, fix something around the house, cook, dig into your hobbies, learn something new? Choose what works for you. Not only can these activities make you feel calmer, they can also provide meaning and purpose to your days at home.
4) Create Some Daily Routines
Go to sleep and wake up at a reasonable time, take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed in clothing that makes you feel good. Taking care of your body and choosing clothes you feel happy in can improve your mood. Some people also find it helpful to break their day into segments for work, breaks, meals, time with their kids, exercise, and connecting with others, so the day doesn’t seem long, chaotic, or monotonous.
5) Look Beyond Yourself
Call or video to stay in touch with friends and family. Consider how you can reach out beyond your immediate circle. For example, I volunteered on a team that called everyone in my synagogue to touch base and make sure they were okay. People were grateful to be contacted and the time spent connecting was heartwarming for everyone. If you are able to donate supplies or money to food banks or other organizations in need, or assist others in your neighborhood or community, helping others can also help you feel calmer. Knowing you are making a difference can lift your mood, add meaning to your life, and give you hope. Meaning and hope can sustain us when times are tough.
6) Remember Your Resources
Although we’ve never been in a situation exactly like this, it’s highly likely that you’ve been through other times of uncertainty or hardship in your life. I want to invite you to pick a specific situation from your past and remind yourself how you got through it. What can you apply from that situation to this one? What other resources do you have within yourself or outside yourself to help you through this time?
These activities are not “one and done,” just as freedom was not won once and for all. Choosing to do them is courageous and shows we have the freedom to choose to make our situation better.
Continuing to take care of ourselves and others in ways that resonate, add meaning and give us hope can give us the resilience and endurance to make it through this stressful time.
Take the Next Step
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