4 Survival Tips For Snow Days and Long Weekends
Whenever inclement weather days occur unexpectedly, it can feel stressful to think about extended time home with our kids when we can’t go out like we usually would.
Even though we’ve been through months and years of covid-19, with many of us working, schooling and parenting from home, a long weekend or days off in the middle of the week can seem challenging and daunting, without the structure of school, and possibly work, to guide us.
Here are four tips that may help ease the stress.
1) Chunk Time
Consider how pre-schools and daycares organize each day. There are specific times for playing, napping, eating, and learning. Even if your children are well past this age, you can apply the same concept to your family’s schedule.
Look at the days you have together and see how you can organize (“chunk”) time to make each day easier. You don’t have to have the same schedule each day. Overwhelming feelings about a long day can be reduced when you can think about individual, planned chunks of time, rather than the day as a whole.
You might have times for eating, playing games, watching a movie, cooking together, and time outside.
The ages and personalities of your children can help determine how structured and how long to make each of these time chunks.
Bonus tip: Scheduling time to spend with each child individually, even if only for 15-20 minutes each day, is a powerful way to strengthen your relationship with your children.
2) Ask Your Kids For Suggestions
Some parents tell me it feels stressful to come up with all the activities for the weekend. To make things easier, ask your kids what they’d like to do. Tell them you’re trying to make a plan for the days off/long weekend and you’d like their ideas. They can pick a movie to watch and games to play, food to cook, and other activities they enjoy. Since it’s their idea, they may even be more interested in doing it.
But what if they come up with an idea that you don’t approve of?
Let’s say they want to have a food fight or watch a movie you don’t think is appropriate.
Here are three steps you can use to redirect them to a better activity:
(a) Validate something about the idea that you can approve of.
You’re essentially saying “yes” to a part of their idea before you find a better solution.
Everyone likes it when they are heard and their ideas are acknowledged. Hearing this acknowledgement first means your kids will be less likely to fight you on the redirection.
If you’re looking for some specific language to use, here are two suggestions you can adapt to your own words and situation:
· With the food fight, you could say: “I love that you want to do something active and fun!”
· With the movie, you could say: “I can tell you want to watch something with lots of adventure!”
(b) Explain why a better solution is needed
Kids respect you if they know you have a valid reason for your decisions, even if they don’t necessarily agree. No one likes arbitrary rules. Kids tend to feel better about rules when they know there are logical reasons for them. You will also feel better about redirecting your kids if you are clear about which types of activities are okay with you and which are not. Without this clarity, it is hard to set limits and enforce them.
If you’re looking for language to use, here are suggestions you can adapt to your own words and situation:
· “We can’t have a food fight, because we don’t throw food in our house.”
· “We can’t have a food fight, because it will create a big mess and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
· “Unfortunately, we can’t watch that movie because it’s for adults and I want us to enjoy a movie that’s right for all of us.”
(c) Pick a Better Solution
Ask your kids for another idea of something they’d like to do. If they can’t come up with anything, suggest a few ideas you have and let them pick.
What if they don’t like your ideas or have any of their own?
One option is to say that it’s too bad all of you haven’t come up with ideas that all of you like, yet. Offer to let them think about it a little more (and you can think about it too),and then talk about it again.
3) Spend Some Time Apart
“Everyone needs a little time away,” as the song by Chicago goes. It can be hard to be together all day, every day. So take a break. Build in times during the day when each of you can be on your own, doing your own thing.
Older siblings may appreciate the break from younger siblings. You may appreciate the break to have time to yourself or get something done. All of us can benefit from down time to rest, or pursue our own interests and creativity.
4) Enjoy This Time With Your Kids
At its core, this time can be about your family and fostering memories and close relationships.
Many people have said to me, as they may have said to you, “Kids grow up so fast!”
With my oldest in college and my high schooler not too far behind, this has definitely been on my mind. Although I love every stage my kids are at, sometimes I miss the days when they were younger. Where did the time go? How did it go so fast?
I also try to remind myself that even though I don’t have control over how fast time flies and what the future may bring, I do have now, this moment, to love and enjoy my kids.
I want to encourage you to find ways to ease the stress of these snow day or long weekends and make the most of your moments, now, to love and enjoy your kids.
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